Decisions, decisions!

So, it's about that time to rant about stupid things going on in my life or observations that i haven't been able to make conclusions out of yet. or. well. i have a conclusion, it's just not what i want. if i could, i'd drop everything and doodle my heart out, create something worth being proud of--I know I can do this, I just want to take it a step further. But then i have the conflict of pleasing my parents..... bleh! typical thing to get into is the medical field..... so much pressure because i'm the youngest and my eldest brothers are all something "big," lawyers, doctors, pharmacists, etcetcetc. and what am i? an in-the-process pediatric nurse. it's hard when i love making people feel better about themselves, but at the same time wanting to use my creativity to bring out that love for them. i have no clue if that makes any sense whatsoever to any of you but it makes sense to me. originally, i wanted to be a painter. then i decided that i wanted to make men and women feel beatuitful about themselves inside and out, and wanted to get into cosmotology. then i realized that i can't stand to see a person suffer, especially the one's who are unable to fend for themselves, so i wanted to become a nurse. now i'm on this path where i don't know where i want to go. i honestly wish i could do it all but i'm not a super human (although i really wish i was!) so i could carry on all my tasks/dreams/aspirations/goals in life. btw, i'm making a bucket list soon. but aside from that, i don't know what the future holds for me and it sucks that the planning i'm supposed to be doing isn't working out so well. i'm not in a rut but i need to get outta this indecisive stage and figure out what i really wanna do with myself. wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhh.

p.s. i miss you gaytlyn fagderon. be good in la :)